15 Reasons To Look Forward to Getting Older

          As some of you know, I have 9 months left in my 30s. Some of my friends have said that when they turned 38 and 39, they just "considered themselves 40". NOT ME! I'm still in my 30s and I'm hanging on for dear life!          

          According to Wikipedia, the United States life expectancy for an average woman runs at 80 years old. That means that when I turn 40, I'll be closer to the day of my death than from the day of my birth! I'M A GONER!!! I'M OVER THE HILL AND SLEDDING DOWN!!!   <uncontrollable sobbing>           

         Recently I went to a party with a lot of friends who were mostly in their 40s. One of the guys forgot his reading glasses, so it seemed to me like the rest of the ENTIRE party offered to share their reading glasses! Is this how people socialize when they get old? "You forgot your dentures? Here, borrow mine!"           

          Aside: Being that my parents in their 60s and 70s have not needed reading glasses, I will be sensitive towards my blind-as-a-bat senior citizen friends and not toot the fact that I can read PERFECTLY without reading glasses.            

           Since I'm going to reach old age soon, I decided that I need to have a joyful, hopeful attitude towards the future. Thus I have sat myself down and written 15 reasons why I am thankful to be getting older:

1. If I'm too tired to shower, I can think, "Eh, I have old people smell anyway."

2. I will finally be able to see male skinny pants go out of style.

3. Even though I am getting wrinkles and white hair, I will not be able to remember that I have wrinkles and white hair.

4. I will no longer be interrupted in a movie by my post childbirth, weak bladder, because I can go happily in my Depends.

5. O the things I can do with my cane to people who cut in front of me in the customer service line.

6. I can write a mirthful post about how the Octuplets are paying for my Social Security.

7. When a conversation is boring, I can fall asleep without being rude. "Poor Granny must be so tired!"

8. I get to finally ride a motorized cart at the market.

9. I'll look that much cuter dancing to live bands as a granny than as a young woman.

10. If I just live 2 or 3 more decades, there's a chance I might get to see Justin Bieber go bald.

11. I can annoy telemarketers by my bad hearing: "May I speak to the homeowner?" "Eh? Did ya say ya want me to buy a chrome mower!? When I was a child, we never had chrome mowers! In fact, sonny, let me tell ya about the mowers back then . . ."

12. When I think my kids deserve it, I can fake a heart attack.

13. I can scare trick or treaters simply by not wearing my dentures.

14. When the neighbor's dog is yip yapping in the middle of the night, I can just take off my hearing aids and enjoy blissful silence.

15. When I'm too old to rev up with bass pumping, heart jumping music, I can enjoy all the same songs in elevator music style.          

          I'm just joking around. The real reason to look forward to old age is the grace and wisdom that comes with years of deep abiding in Christ; the evidence of a life well lived will be etched on my face. 

     As the days grow colder and the world outside gets too fast for my aging body, my gaze will turn with longing towards those heavenly gates- where my Lord awaits. The one thing that always gets me crying like a baby is thinking of that day when I'll get to meet the person who I love and talk to every day, and the beauty of being able to lay my crown at His feet; beautiful because I will be giving Him all I have; beautiful because I will be His and He will be mine.          
 
          Come new home, come new adventure, come fresh life.          

           Come Jesus, come.