My mother in law (may she rest in peace) was a colorful, loving woman who loved to shower us with expensive, obscure gifts: an air purifier advertised as being strong enough to purify the air of a passenger jet, a huge mint green comforter (to remind us to brush our teeth?), an ice cream maker, etc.. . . I suppose the ice cream maker wasn’t that obscure, except that every time I went to buy ingredients to use it, I ended up wanting to buy ice cream.
Every once in a while, she’d hit gift giving on the nose, and this one time, she bought me a Cartier watch. Having only bought $10 wristwatches from Best, I had no idea what a Cartier watch was. This was evidenced by the fact that I pronounced the “r” in Cartier. The correct way to pronounce Cartier is “Car-tee-yay”. But you can’t say the “yay” like a Yankee, you need to add a soft “h” sound at the end. If designers would just spell their names properly, like Shanelle, Shhhshaydough and Carteeyayh, then people like me would spend less time looking like idiots. Just sayin’.
Once I got my watch, friends would come up to me, admire my watch, and exclaim, “Oh my goodness! A Car-tee-yay-h! This is my DREEEEAM watch!” I never really knew how to respond to that, because they were implying that they did, in fact, daydream about watches. If I were them, I wouldn’t be so forthcoming about that information.
I love practical gifts and I wore that watch every day, until the day came that my battery ran out. Now the closest Cartier boutique to us that could give me a new battery was on Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills. Even though I lived in Westwood for 4 years, I had never actually visited Rodeo Drive, the street where all the movie stars shop. So I threw on my nice jeans, and my husband and I popped our 2.5 kids in our swanky minivan and sailed down to Beverly Hills.
When we got to Cartier, my initial impression was how elaborately dressed up the sales people were, with hair styled nicer than I had on my wedding day. I’ve always wondered what kind of job would inspire me to dress up every day in stuffy blazers, heels, and heaven forbid- pantyhose. Even if I were Grace Ferrell with a Broadway solo and a proposal from Daddy Warbucks, I’d probably spend my time jealous of all the house servants who got to dance and slide on the floor and tables. There is one thing that I think Kim Jong Il did right: if I were the leader of a country, then I would definitely wear pajamas every day, and I would make sure that my civilians would feel punishable by death if they were to criticize my pajamas.
Behind a desk, we found an elderly panty-hosed lady with tight bun and a thick British accent. Even though she spoke to us, she looked over our heads as if she could smell the minivan stench oozing out of our pores. Did Daddy Cartier hire the Queen’s sister to make his store look even snootier?
After we filled out the paperwork for my watch battery, I asked Snooty if she knew a place nearby to eat at. “Thah’s a Cheesecake Factory, but you don’t want to go thah,” she clucked, looking me up and down, “because it’s expensive."
I was a bit taken aback. She was insinuating that we looked as if we couldn't afford to eat at Cheesecake Factory. Did Daddy Cartier hire snooty people to be snootier to keep up with the Cartier impression, like an ongoing Disney character gig? Did she know that I blasted Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” in the privacy of my car? Did she not appreciate my nice jeans?
A weakness of mine is that I never have a perfect retort at the perfect moment. I’m always too busy making excuses for people- they’re having a bad day, they had a hard childhood, or they’re hired to act like snooty Disney character. So about two hours later, as we were driving away, I finally thought, “That wasn’t nice!” But by then, I was pretty sure that marching back to Cartier, slamming a Cheesecake Factory receipt on her desk, and shouting, "IN YOUR FACE!” wasn’t going to accomplish much.
Especially since we ate at Johnny Rockets.
Every once in a while, she’d hit gift giving on the nose, and this one time, she bought me a Cartier watch. Having only bought $10 wristwatches from Best, I had no idea what a Cartier watch was. This was evidenced by the fact that I pronounced the “r” in Cartier. The correct way to pronounce Cartier is “Car-tee-yay”. But you can’t say the “yay” like a Yankee, you need to add a soft “h” sound at the end. If designers would just spell their names properly, like Shanelle, Shhhshaydough and Carteeyayh, then people like me would spend less time looking like idiots. Just sayin’.
Once I got my watch, friends would come up to me, admire my watch, and exclaim, “Oh my goodness! A Car-tee-yay-h! This is my DREEEEAM watch!” I never really knew how to respond to that, because they were implying that they did, in fact, daydream about watches. If I were them, I wouldn’t be so forthcoming about that information.
I love practical gifts and I wore that watch every day, until the day came that my battery ran out. Now the closest Cartier boutique to us that could give me a new battery was on Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills. Even though I lived in Westwood for 4 years, I had never actually visited Rodeo Drive, the street where all the movie stars shop. So I threw on my nice jeans, and my husband and I popped our 2.5 kids in our swanky minivan and sailed down to Beverly Hills.
When we got to Cartier, my initial impression was how elaborately dressed up the sales people were, with hair styled nicer than I had on my wedding day. I’ve always wondered what kind of job would inspire me to dress up every day in stuffy blazers, heels, and heaven forbid- pantyhose. Even if I were Grace Ferrell with a Broadway solo and a proposal from Daddy Warbucks, I’d probably spend my time jealous of all the house servants who got to dance and slide on the floor and tables. There is one thing that I think Kim Jong Il did right: if I were the leader of a country, then I would definitely wear pajamas every day, and I would make sure that my civilians would feel punishable by death if they were to criticize my pajamas.
Behind a desk, we found an elderly panty-hosed lady with tight bun and a thick British accent. Even though she spoke to us, she looked over our heads as if she could smell the minivan stench oozing out of our pores. Did Daddy Cartier hire the Queen’s sister to make his store look even snootier?
After we filled out the paperwork for my watch battery, I asked Snooty if she knew a place nearby to eat at. “Thah’s a Cheesecake Factory, but you don’t want to go thah,” she clucked, looking me up and down, “because it’s expensive."
I was a bit taken aback. She was insinuating that we looked as if we couldn't afford to eat at Cheesecake Factory. Did Daddy Cartier hire snooty people to be snootier to keep up with the Cartier impression, like an ongoing Disney character gig? Did she know that I blasted Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” in the privacy of my car? Did she not appreciate my nice jeans?
A weakness of mine is that I never have a perfect retort at the perfect moment. I’m always too busy making excuses for people- they’re having a bad day, they had a hard childhood, or they’re hired to act like snooty Disney character. So about two hours later, as we were driving away, I finally thought, “That wasn’t nice!” But by then, I was pretty sure that marching back to Cartier, slamming a Cheesecake Factory receipt on her desk, and shouting, "IN YOUR FACE!” wasn’t going to accomplish much.
Especially since we ate at Johnny Rockets.
So do you still wear the watch? I bet you could buy a battery online now. Probably at amazon. I abhor snooty salespeople. Probably why I buy everything I can online. Even pasta. Added bonus is you can do it in your pajamas. :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I still wear the watch! Won Bin says that I should just wear it on special occasions. But I guess I think I'm going to get my money's worth if I get full practical use out of it. You're really tempting me with this shopping in your pajamas bit. haha!
DeleteBest part of the story...your buying watches at "Best". had to think twice about that one hahaa.
ReplyDeleteMay Best rest in peace!
Deleteoh brother, snooty is right!
ReplyDelete